The air was so chilly as I put my coat on over my velvet Christmas dress. My stomach was fluttering like a nest filled with butterflies, my heart beat thumped like a melodic song, and my eyes danced a waltz as if gliding on a glossy, sparkly pond at all the lights we drove passed in the car.

It was Christmas Eve, and my family was preparing for our Christmas service at our Church. I was singing with my school choir at this particular mass. I was so giddy to see all my friends in their Christmas outfits, and to sing Christmas Carols before mass. But, most of all, I was excited to watch the Nativity Scene come to life. The story itself was so magical to me as a kid. How was any of it possible? As a kid, I didn’t care about the facts. It was an amazing story about selflessness and LOVE. No religious background required to like a story like that! What else did I need to know? (And of course, Santa came in to bring a gift to the baby Jesus…because nothing is more believable than Santa! Add sarcastic tone.) It wasn’t until I grew into a teenager that I started to place answers to the many questions I had. I began to find less amazement and wonder in various aspects of my life.

Childhood Mentality

Do you ever notice that as children, we are encouraged to believe in any story we are told? And we believe those stories with whole hearted enthusiasm. Easter Bunnies hide eggs for us to find. A very round Jolly man in a red suit delivers us presents if we are good. Even floods of princess and hero stories fill our imaginations with characters we could possibly meet one day at the “happiest place on earth”. From the moment we enter this world, we are confronted with imagined and wonderful places. Our imaginations run wild with all sorts of possibilities.

We explore outside and discover new lands, castles, and fortresses. We dig to find new creatures in the dirt. We have tea parties with our very sophisticated stuffed bears. We write letters to Santa in hopes that we made it on the “nice list” for Christmas. No imagined story is too silly or dumb when you’re a kid. We find amazement and awe in all things we hear and see. There is no reason NOT to believe any of it. But, at some point, we begin to build a wall around our imagination. A wall of answers that block any chance of an alternative possibility to a thought. “The facts say it, therefore, it must be.”

Functional Intensity

For some that know me, I use a metaphor to explain my energy for life, good or bad. I call it “The Bunsen Burner”. Like a Bunsen Burner, we all have an intake and a valve. The intake for us, would be our own perceptions and cognition of our surroundings. The valve, is our reactions and how we CHOOSE to respond to our surroundings. We control both of these functions in our own Bunsen Burners.

As children, our Burners are fully cranked, all the way up. No one could even attempt to lower the intensity that a child brings to life every day. But, as we age, that intensity, the flame, begins to burn lower and lower. We feel as though we know so many answers, that we begin to stop asking questions. We only see one answer to a question, instead of multiple solutions. We begin the comparison to others around us, instead of building our own imagined possibilities.

For me, this happened after I had my third child. I was on a low flicker (if you will) during my pregnancy. I was exhausted, my marriage was not at it’s finest, I felt lost, alone, and drained. There was no more gas left in me. The holidays were robotic, I felt no excitement. I just went through the motions of providing a “festive atmosphere” for my family. Worst of all, my faith was being broken apart by yours truly…my ever going brain! No, I’m not going to break into a speech about religion or faith. But, if you want to grasp the idea of allowing wonder and amazement back into your life, just hear me out.

I grew up in a strong faith filled home. It was strict, but also forgiving and warm. I always felt calm and at peace whenever we would go to church, even as I got older. Well, I moved away from home; out of state. I attempted to keep my faith present in my life, but it just never felt the same. I felt no connection and no motivation to continue my life with faith as a part of it. Life consumed me. The chaos of daily life took control over all of my faith, my entire belief system!

You see my faith isn’t just a religious connection I have present in my life. My faith is how I choose to seek wonder and amazement of happenings in my life. The minute I lost my faith, I lost my sense of adventure, wonder, and imagination. Some may not believe in the story of Jesus, or even God for that matter. And that is completely fine. They don’t have to be characters in your story if they don’t suit you. My hope is that you at least have a faith in something bigger, and much more wondrous than you are. Something that will fill your tank and force your Bunsen Burner to burn with such intensity, that people turn to you for warmth and energy.

Re-Ignite

The Holiday Season is a perfect opportunity for us parents to truly recapture and solidify a strong belief foundation with our family. Whether it is the story of Jesus, the giving spirit of Santa, or the shift of spiritual nature; reinforce, retell, and believe in those stories you are passing down to your children. At some point they WILL ask if it is true or not. If you do not believe yourself, you will never have a good enough answer to satisfy both of you. Their will be a disappointment on one side of the conversation if there is no true belief or wonder from you, the parent.

Kids are losing that magical feeling earlier and earlier now. I feel it is often the way we “break it to them”, the access kids have to “the facts”, and the decrease of faith in the home. Earlier this year, my oldest came home from school one day, and asked me about Santa. Was he REAL? Do I believe in him? Just like I believe in the story of Jesus. I don’t need all the facts, I love the idea, the concept that comes with both stories. Both are wondrous, mysterious, and loving stories. I chose to be truthful with my daughter. We talked about the importance of the story, and idea of Santa. He is a symbol of love, kindness, and the spirit of giving to others. The spirit of Santa is REAL, it lives inside each one of us. It is not just about giving presents. It is about the thoughtfulness, the care, and the WANT to give to another. Otherwise, there is no point. In which case, you are “just giving out presents”. “Becoming a Santa” is a major responsibility that I do not take lightly, and my daughter assured me that she didn’t either. (She even asked me why we can’t be Santa all year round? How about that ? Even my little one’s Bunsen is still full throttle after learning a truth from my eyes.)

Open Up The Intake

In order to crank our valves, we need to allow more intake. We need to continue asking questions, finding amazement in more throughout life. We need to be that spark for our kids. We need give them the opportunity to crank that Bunsen Burner everyday. Find their own beliefs. When there is no more gas, the burner is just a metal tube. Show your family what a full throttle Bunsen Burner looks like. Show your kids how to create intense heat and warmth. Reach for something; believe in something that you don’t have all the answers to. Most importantly, let your kids be kids. Let them see the wonder and magic of life, of stories. Less tech, more play. Less facts, more truth in their own eyes. Not all questions need an answer. Some questions are their to spark your imagination.