Have you ever attended an event that had guest speakers, be it a wedding, a seminar, or even a class? There are two ways the audiences’ emotions can go once the speaker opens their mouth. It’s either going to be so boring you feel like you’re listening to the, “Bueller, Bueller” guy or…The speaker is going to pump so much energy in the room, you’re gonna wish they would never stop talking! That speaker, the one bringing energy, is giving the audience a beautiful gift! They are expressing how much Joy they feel on the topic through how they are speaking, and they are sparking Curiosity of the topic through their action of speaking about it. They are DOING something that brings them so much Joy that they want to make others Curious about it too. Typically, a speaker puts some thought into what they are going to say, and how they are going to say it. (It takes years of practice or a random savant to just jump up and go!) They are creating a space (a home) for their audience to experience. So, shaping the space they want to create, takes time and practice. Not to say those with low energy are terrible speakers or ill prepared, but they tend to have a smaller impact on the audience due to the lack of Joy reflected while speaking. And when there is no Joy lit, Curiosity stays in the dark along side with it.

So, all parents need to become the speakers of the home! Totally kidding, but we should absolutely shape the same emotions in the home that a speaker shapes with an audience! Think about it…If Mom and Dad come home from work and are tired, angry, or frustrated because they dislike their job, or dislike their coworker, and all they do is complain about it, the kids are going to go in their room, close the door, and most likely not engage in any sort of conversation with that parent. BUT, if Mom and Dad come home from work feeling energized, excited to talk about their day, and joyful, the kids are going to give Mom and Dad hugs, tell them all about their day, and want to be around their parents. (Not to mention, they won’t mirror Mom or Dad by coming home from school angry, frustrated, and having a school day melt down!) Now, I’m not saying every day is going to be picture perfect, cause life isn’t perfect, and people aren’t perfect. But, consistently practicing positive thoughts and actions throughout the day, won’t just have an impact on Mom or Dad, it impacts the entire home as well. And how one does that is through practicing THOUGHTFUL ACTIONS!

One of the biggest shifts any home can work on is BEING THOUGHTFUL IN ALL ACTIONS! Especially as a parent. We set the tone of the home! If the parent (or adult) is excited and fulfilled every day in what they do, that will be projected and mirrored by the younger family members. Truly think about what your actions impact and reframe that action if needed. If you feel negatively about your job, or are constantly feeling drained by your job, what can you do to make your job more exciting? Perhaps, add something new to your job that even your boss hasn’t thought of; find one thing to focus on in your job that brings you Joy; or reframe the true reason why you need your job in the first place. The kids did something that infuriated you? (After the consequence is given,) Perhaps, set an example of what they should do next time; show them how to consistently take care of their things by taking care of yours; or assist them in creating a system that helps them practice positive actions alongside yourself. Before reacting to a situation emotionally, breathe and think. There are always separate paths from the ones we are on that can shift our thoughts and emotions. Pausing, taking a moment to let the information at hand sink in, before we pour our emotions out, tends to give us the momentum we need to be in action so we can refrain from reaction! In reacting, we tend to drain ourselves of all logic and energy. That is the key difference in THOUGHTFUL ACTIONS. And it definitely takes practice…lots of it!

We also need to practice reframing certain stories that we get ourselves stuck in. I definitely don’t want to witness my kids stuck in a crappy story, so why would I keep myself in one?! We want our kids to experience Joy, and learn through Curiosity! We should want the same for ourselves! In practicing reframing our own stories, our kids learn how to cope, how to rebuild, and how to rediscover Joy and Curiosity of an entirely new opportunity. Experiences of trauma, sadness, and frustration are regular occurrences in life, but they should not be consistent ones. When these emotions arise, our kids need to have the skills to pause, think about the information going through their minds, and then take action to conquer those emotions by finding a different path to Joy and Curiosity. If they never witness their parents reframing a story, how will they ever learn? They need to see Mom and Dad defeat evil; they need to see Mom and Dad rise up from the ashes; they need to see Mom and Dad overcome adversity; they need to see Mom and Dad shift to a positive mindset. (If the same behavior is repeated over and over again, no lesson will be taught or witnessed.) In order to find immense Joy, we need to expand who we are, from where we were, through Curiosity. Not by sticking to the same boring routine that provides the same boring results. We need to experiment in the unknown. What have we not tried yet? What are we capable of? What are we Curious about? What brings us Joy?

There is a lot of talk about Joy and Curiosity in this blog! And for good reason! Joy and Curiosity are two of the most contagious emotions (i think) that travel like wildfire. Especially if they are consistently being observed! My own kids have started mirroring my husband and I. They see us practicing our morning routines, daily exercises, conversations with each other and with others, eating healthy, and learning something new all the time through reading, classes, and new communities we join as well. (These have all been in years of practice!!) A couple of days ago my daughters presented me with a board they created that had their own morning schedule, which included a personal hygiene routine, chores, homework, exercise, meal times, and even a specific time slot to “catch up on things”. I was so amazed at how they CHOSE to create a routine all on their own. It made my heart smile so big…All the lectures I give them on health bore them to tears, but what we actually DO every day seems to spark their curiosity enough to do it for themselves. (We must look Joyful and Happy enough for them to want to try it too!) We can carry on in numerous lectures and screaming matches with our kids, but in our homes, actions DO speak louder than words. Our kids are very good at keeping us aware of that!

From eating and exercise, to working at a job you can find Joy in; every action needs to be carefully thought out at some point in time. Gradually they just become routines, and those routine actions are witnessed. Eventually, those that witness those actions become Curious enough to want to experience that Joy for themselves.

A home is not a structure built by a contractor. Nor is it the walls and rooms within, filled with furniture and artwork. Home is a place (or space) that one lives permanently (or for a long period of time) as a member of a family or household. That is the actual definition! This space is a very sacred one. It is a space that most of our time is spent, where memories are made, and families grow. What we bring in to this space should be of a positive impact on those that dwell within it, be it physical or emotional. From the moment we create a home, every choice becomes part of that homes history. Those choices can create a beautiful flow throughout the home, or create walls that block that flow. How we shape our homes has a significant impact on those that live within it, and their ripple effect once they venture outside the home as well. So, how does one shape a home that flows in a positive and balanced manor?

“Practice the ability to take a significant pause, that influences a Curious action big enough to radiate Joy from the inside out!”