Being a teenager today is so different from when I grew up. I never thought I would say those exact words, but there it is. I played outside when I got home from school until I was called in for dinner. I played with the kids down the street. That was my social life. The world seemed safer and filled with adventure. Now kids become trapped behind screens in their free time. Cell phones give access to hours of entertainment for kids right in the palm of their hands. I didn’t even own a cell phone until I paid for one myself at the age of 15. And, let’s face it, that block Nokia phone we all had with the same exact ring tone, is nothing compared to what kids carry now a days. They give instant ability to play video games that increase ADHD symptoms and add to anxiety through over-stimulation. These devices give non stop access to view the “lives” of others on multiple social apps, some of which we adults know nothing about. Social Media is a dominant reason many teens suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts in today’s world.

As a parent, I find that searching for alternative treatment, rather than being at the mercy of a doctor or a prescription, will assist not just my understanding of mental disorders, but also guide my children to take control of their own mental health. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is such an amazing alternative. It is a gentle therapy that retrains thought processes in a distorted perception of reality. Let us take the mental processes of a typical teenager today as an example:

Social Media’s Distorted Reality

Every time a teen opens up their home screen, they are greeted with an average of 10 social media Apps to click on and start scrolling. The biggest problem with that? They see those Apps as a form of reality, when it is the ultimate in distorted life. Some adults even have a hard time browsing through their Facebook and IG pages without emotionally or physically reacting to another persons post. They can’t understand that behind certain pictures, quotes, or events, dozens of people were planning, editing, and even making up the very thing they believe is REAL. In a sense, Social Media has become the next sitcom platform of our era. We can sit back and watch the “show”, because that is exactly what it is. You will rarely see terrible pictures, because that wouldn’t get enough “likes”. You will rarely see individuals in their “worst moment”, because who would take out their phone and take a selfie of themselves completely failing? Heck, there are Apps to make you look like you have make up on, when you didn’t have enough time to put any on that day! Teen girls are playing with Apps that change their appearance so they look older. (That one confuses me!) My favorite is after taking 30 videos, someone finally posts the perfect “first try” or “nailed it”. Neglecting to show all the effort it took to get there! Every post is a production. Even mine are productions…well, most are.

Teens have a difficult time perceiving the FALSE REALITY in this Social Media world. They become entangled in their own distorted perception of how others are: “better than them”, “have more friends”, “are liked more”, “have more comments”, and even cyber bullying to the point of reputation and self confidence degradation. It is such a consuming feeling, I can’t even imagine being a teenager today with that amount of distress.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT is such an amazing therapy for so many that are battling Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal Thoughts. So many times we allow the stories and thoughts, that we make up, take over our perception of the actual REALITY of what is happening. Some of us learn to asses situations and move on. However so many get stuck on these negative thoughts…that is when CBT becomes a battle weapon.

Therapists have been utilizing CBT for many years in order to open up clients’ thought processes pertaining to certain situations and events. Clients are assisted in “rewiring” their thoughts, if you will. They learn to take a negative reaction, and flip it to a better understanding as to why they are reacting that way. Finding out why they identify certain responses to specific situations and events that occur. Learning how to harness and dispel negative reactions that are useless and harmful. For example:

A teenager opens up their IG page. They view a friends page that has 5,000 followers. They only have 200. This makes the teens emotions instantly drop into a downward spiral. They begin to think that they aren’t liked, they have no friends, they are a loser, they will never be popular, they are stupid…The negative self talk escalates rather rapidly. This may occur every time this teen opens up a Social Media page. Over several months, the negative thoughts increase. Then, it seeps into her daily life. She begins to doubt that she has any friends, and begins to isolate herself in her room. She doesn’t sleep from the anxiety and pressure she feels. She feels like a loser. She stops eating. All because of the one negative thoughts that entered her mind from visiting a friends IG page. Her parents send her to a Therapist where she begins CBT treatment. The rewiring begins.

CBT assists patients to asses and break down situations and problems they are faced with. When patients begin CBT they react emotionally and physically on a basis of “automatic response”. They do not know how to process the situation or problem at hand. They become so emotionally charged that they act out irrationally. (This can be violently, crying, rage, shut down mode, etc.) What CBT does is it trains their mind to pause, asses, think, then react. This teaches patients how to have healthier and more positive responses to problems they face. Instead of reacting based on emotion, they learn to react based on understanding the REALITY of what is occurring, not a story they are perceiving.

CBT doesn’t even need to be taught in a therapists office. You can begin teaching yourself and your children at home how to react on reality based understanding. Creating a strong mindset from an early age will carry your kids throughout their lives. This goes in two directions: 1. How to properly let thoughts that are false fade out of existence. 2. How to respectfully defend themselves without irrational response (release of violent behavior or harmful thoughts of themselves).

Cognitive Thinking is so detrimental to all of our health, especially with the amount of Social Media exposure on a daily basis. The access to Social Media, news, and “reality” (which we all know is not reality) T.V., is overwhelming in today’s world. We have to constantly remind ourselves that REALITY is what we experience around us, not what we scroll through on our phones, view on T.V., or even hear in a passing conversation. If you don’t witness something or hear it from the source, then it shouldn’t be part of your reality.

I highly recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anyone battling to find the connection and disconnection from REALITY and FALSE REALITY. Personally, I think it should be in all schools as a course!!