Letting Go of Micromanagement
Let's get real for a second. Being a wife and a mom is like juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope – exhilarating, terrifying, and occasionally resulting in a fiery disaster. But amidst the chaos, it's easy to forget about the real MVP in the equation: YOU!
As an integrative health coach, (and with personal experience) I've seen it all – the overbooked calendars, the color-coded family schedules, and the superhero cape you wear as you try to be everything to everyone. Sound familiar? But here's the thing: you don't need to be the glue holding everyone's lives together. It's time to reclaim your time, energy, and sanity. So, grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine – no judgment here), and let's talk about how to stop over-involving yourself in everyone else's schedule.
The Martyrdom Complex: Are you constantly sacrificing your own needs and desires for the sake of your family's schedule? If your calendar looks like a rainbow threw up on it, and your "me time" consists of a hurried bathroom break or driving in silence for 10 minutes while going from one drop off to another pick up, you might be suffering from the martyrdom complex. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Take a step back and prioritize your own well-being. Ask your spouse to take over a drop off or pick up, start a carpool, or hire a babysitter for a few hours a week just for you! Not just for date nights, go enjoy a hike, a massage, or shopping! Yes, you are allowed to buy your own clothes!
The Guilt Trip Express: Do you feel guilty every time you say no to a commitment outside of your family's schedule? Newsflash: you're not a bad wife or mom for setting boundaries. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to weigh you down. Repeat after me: "No" is a complete sentence. If it adds happiness and joy to your cup, go for it! If it feels like a drag, and a drain, use your firm wording of “No.”
Control Freak Syndrome: Do you find yourself micromanaging every aspect of your spouse and children's schedules? From meal planning to extracurricular activities, you're always one step ahead, but at what cost? Trust me, relinquishing control can be incredibly liberating. Your spouse is a grown up, they can manage their own agenda! No, you do not have to stay at every practice…that is your kids passion, not yours! Play with them at home, and go to the games, performances, or competitions. That’s how they know you support them! You don’t need to become a “mommy stalker”. Your family is capable of managing their own schedules – let them surprise you. You focus on yours…that’s plenty!
Comparisonitis Epidemic: Are you constantly comparing your family's schedule to the seemingly perfect lives of others on social media? Spoiler alert: nobody has it all together all the time. Not to mention, reality is not what we see on social media. Embrace the beautiful chaos of your own unique family dynamic. Your worth is not determined by how Pinterest-worthy your life appears.
Self-Identity Crisis: When was the last time you focused on your own dreams, passions, and hobbies outside of your family's schedule? It's easy to lose sight of who you are when you're constantly wearing different hats. Take some time to reconnect with yourself – whether it's through journaling, yoga, or pursuing that long-forgotten passion project.
It's time to ditch the superhero cape and embrace the glorious messiness of being human. By stepping back from everyone else's schedule and focusing on your own, you'll not only reduce overwhelm and stress but also become a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled version of yourself. You've got this!
