Summer Time
I know I am not the only parent out there that here’s the phrase “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble”, when summer closely approaches. Our household has already begun our summer agenda, as I know many other families have too. I don’t know about you, but during the summer with the kids at home, it truly does feel like you’re inside the boxing ring maneuvering your way to prevent getting knocked over. Any moment there is a pause of stillness, in comes another jab…and Mom and Dad’s schedule gets the big KO. Now that I have been through a few summers with three pre teens, I finally feel as though I have the upper cut! That’s not to say my kids don’t sneak in the jabs here and there…it is summer break after all. And every now and then, life needs to take a little break from the strict schedules and tasks. I just understand when to take the lead, as well as when to follow.
The Schedules
I have definitely been the Mom that fills up every single week with activities and camps for the kids to do. I have also been the Mom that has not planned one single event for my kids to do all summer. Let me tell you, neither way works. Filling up the schedule every moment available, actually is a massive load on you as the parent (Hello MomUber). Not only is it expensive (and a high possibility of it being a waste of money), but it doesn’t allow your kids to have any free imagination or free play time. Remember back to when you were a kid? I spent pretty much all summer long playing outside with my friends, or working on a fun project. Kids learn so much more from “unstructured play” because they have to solve problems as they arise, and they use their imaginations…something that is key in development of a child physically and mentally. Placing them in constant structure of performance and play, basically keeps them inside “the zone”. No imagination or growth needed inside that zone!
Planning a couple of activities or camps during the summer are a fantastic way for our kids to be social, and the ability to perform team building activities. I get it, it’s tough to get siblings to work as a “team” inside the home all the time. Breaking them up at an event or camp for a little bit of time is fantastic in building their independence away from the family. While that may be hard for some parents to admit their kiddo is become an independent person, it is the best gift we can give them from an early age so they can become independent adults.
We have our kids signed up in three camps for the whole of summer. The rest of the summer they have to play and create. For our competitive gymnast, she gets to practice her sport all summer with one camp for fun, so taking time for unstructured play and create is so important. And for you parents that have kids in competitive sports, blessings on you. Rigorous schedules all year long make it even more important to leave free time for play and relaxation. Find that balance, whatever that may be for your household. Don’t plan something for every moment of summer, but let the kids join some fun camps or activities to keep up with their social agenda. Remember, it’s supposed to be a “break”, not a crazy marathon of events.
The Food
Now I have to say, this area is definitely the most daunting during the summer (especially with pre teens). The constant flow of food can sometimes be, how do I put this delicately…hair pulling! I discovered the most beautiful thing this past year in having my kids constantly bringing friends over: Kids love boards! Yes, we thought it was just an adult thing. Fancy cheese boards, jam boards. Guess what?! Kids love them too, but, they don’t like them as fancy as we adults do! That’s the beauty of it! No need to spend lots of money on expensive cheeses! I load up cutting boards, dishes, and bowls with fruit, veggies, healthy dips, olives, pickles, and dried fruit (we call these natures candy). I can leave these boards out between meals, and a majority of the food disappears, but it’s all healthy food, so I say dig in! For sleepovers I tend to get a fun response when I make pancake or waffle boards that are Gluten and Dairy Free, paired with lots of chopped fruit and good maple syrup. The kids also love taking the fruit I put out on boards, blending them up, and making juices or popsicles. Natures sweet treats! Yes, I let the kids play with food. Just yesterday my daughter and her friend took some potatoes and made chips and fries in our air fryer…the girls are 9 & 11. Give them a chance to not just eat healthy food, but to create with it as well…it’s a huge win for you parents! Nutritious, and educational…they won’t even know that they are “learning”, hahaha!
I try to stick to Whole Foods, as opposed to buying any processed. The more processed foods they eat, the more behavioral issues we have to battle (mood swings, laziness, tiredness, crankiness, anger). Processed foods are the culprit of so much that is breaking down our kids mental and physical well being, so better to stay away from it. Not to mention, the price of processed food has gone up so much, it’s a bit ridiculous that we spend so much on something that isn’t even really food, eventually costing us even more money to pay our medical bills after it has internally damaged us. Best thing we can do for our kids is to nourish them with food that will allow them to thrive…so make a fruit platter instead of baking mozzarella sticks!
The Me Time
“Me Time” refers to everyone in the household. Ever been on a long trip with someone or a group of people? After about day four, you’re pretty much ready to lock yourself in the bathroom, just to be alone. Well, it’s that time of year when everyone is home all day, and for many (especially the kids) that gets a bit claustrophobic. We parents need it as well. It can be a bit shaky at the beginning of summer, with everyone discovering their own boundaries, yet again. Begin by setting the example for your kids. (Lord knows I need to practice this one myself.) The atmosphere tends to get to an exploding point, and then the fighting and screaming ensue. Finding the triggers for each person, and defusing the situation at the boiling point, will help you navigate through the summer without too many eruptions.
Life and people can become overwhelming for everyone. Once the feelings of uncontrollable emotions start to creep in, we have to immediately step back and reset. For me, I have to go into another room, away from all the noise, and sit or lay down with my eyes closed. Take 10 deeps breaths, and begin to make a list in my head of things I am grateful for. It works every time for me! My son has to release his emotions through playing a sport…anything active helps him release the tension. For some it may be reading a book, cooking, exercise, it doesn’t matter. As long as it helps you and your mind reset, that’s all that matters.
As for setting up those boundaries for when you want to do something for yourself, whether it be for work, or for your enjoyment, communication is your tool. Sounds pretty simple eh? Well, it is that simple. Summer is about free enjoyment, but sometimes we have to get things done, or just take some time out from the leisurely ways of summer break. If you tell your kids or your spouse that you are going to get on your laptop to work for a certain amount of time, I guarantee you will have very little, if any, interruptions. If you sneak off without telling anyone you are going to get some work done, or are going to take a bath, or perhaps enjoy a glass of wine while doing a puzzle (yes please!), you will definitely be interrupted. Ya know how we are constantly telling our kids to “You need to tell me where going and when your going”, well, we have to do that also. If we sneak off to do something, that is teaching some bad habits, don’t ya think? It is also a great practice for everyone in the household to recognize that others have important obligations that they need to tend to, not just them (aka, they are not the center of the universe syndrome!) Now, if you have little ones in your household, and have no hope of getting anything done because naps aren’t long enough, or they just don’t nap anymore…have a relative or friend come watch them for a couple of hours so you can sneak away to get things done. And, don’t be afraid to tell your little one, “I have to go do some work” or “I need some time to do things for myself”. It is such a great way to teach your little ones that you, the parent, is an individual that is motivated and wants to take care of themself. Eventually they learn that it is important for them, as well as you, that you do the things you need to do, so they have your undivided attention while you are with them. Trust me, if they sense Mom or Dad in the house at such a young age, they will want you to play, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all…but sometimes Mom and Dad need some Me Time.
Summer doesn’t have to be a boxing ring of knock outs. Plan out a loose schedule for the summer break. Get those trips planned before summer arrives. Book a few camps or activities for the kiddos to be social. Fuel your family with simple and healthy Whole Foods. And enjoy witnessing play turn to learning, and imagination turn to creation. After all, summer is meant to be a break from the normal routine, so enjoy the time with your family, and make memories!
