The Most Important Role

Read that title above one more time. If you have kids, then you know the most important role you will take on in your life is being a parent. Not to diminish your self worth, your career, or even your own life, but your kids are the most important role you will ever be responsible for. If you have never looked at it that way, sit back and try to understand why this role is so impactful. Not just in your own home, but within our society as a whole.

The Conception of the Idea

Did you make a plan before you made the plan? Haha, sounds a bit redundant, but having a child SHOULD take lots and lots of planning. The final decision in having a child should go way passed the birth contract. The Final Birth Plan is just one grouping of questions answered. Even before a couple decides to conceive a child, they should look at their personal health plan. Studies have recently shown that even the father’s eating habits and health have a tremendous effect on the genetics passed to the child. Mama ain’t the only one that needs to watch what she eats, take her supplements, and exercise regularly. Passing saliva, or any other bodily fluid to your spouse, actually passes to the growing baby during pregnancy…so while the quality of the sperm is important, it isn’t the final genetic pass me down. So before you even have that twinkle in your eye, begin the family journey to a healthier lifestyle. How does one do that? Well, I’m glad you asked:

Eat whole foods, exercise regularly, practice healthy sleep habits, spend time in nature, and eat together. (Read my blog The Table to understand why that last one is important.) If all of that seems a bit overwhelming, check out my programs. I can guide you until you find your way to your standards of healthy.

WHOLE FOODS

The nutrition of the average family in America is based on convenience. From grab and go snacks to fast food, all the way to pre made “healthy diet” meals. If it makes us function in our daily lives faster, we are all for it. This leaves us with very little time to pause and think about what consequences we will meet because “it was convenient.” Hmmm, I wonder if that is done on purpose from a very powerful hidden influencer: The Big Food Industry. I could write an entire article on the deception we are fed every day from these guys…and I think I will. But, today I want to share with you how to take that confidence and power as a parent, as your kids first chef!

Before the excuses begin to role off the tongue…I’ve heard most of them. (So try your best, and get creative!). “Oh, they’re kids, they can eat all the sugar in the world, they will burn it off.”

“All the “experts” say it’s the best diet”

“It says it’s 100% Whole Grain and pediatrician's #1 Brand.”

“They are picky eaters, they won’t eat anything else.”

Let’s just put those excuses in that drawer in the kitchen where we throw the rest of the junk…and leave it there. Now, what exactly is Whole Foods? If we were to break it down into simplistic form, it is basic food in it’s most natural form. What is that you might ask? Fruit, Vegetables, Grains, Legumes, Animal Proteins, Spices, and Herbs. In a nutshell, foods that don’t require a label to tell you what it is. An apple-is an apple. A carrot is a carrot. Pretty straight forward.

Fruit & Vegetables: Buy Organic as often as you can. If you have to be more budget cautious, follow The Dirty Dozen. Even better than buying Organic at the store, shop at your local Farmer’s Market. Local farms are mostly Organic or Regenerative farms, but you can talk to the actual food producer to find out for sure (the farmer). I’m a huge fan of trying any and all fruit and veggie. Buy an array and introduce them to your kids. My kids love picking out the funky and tropical spiky looking produce all the time. Sometimes they are winners, sometimes, not so much. The truth is…it’s not that our kids are picky eaters. We just don’t introduce them to enough variety.

Grains & Legumes: Buy Organic or locally. Certain grains pack a lot of nutrients. Quinoa has an abundance of protein and minerals. Stay away from heavy starch grains like white rice, over processed baked goods, anything that has all purpose bleached flour, white flour, and even whole wheat flour is heavily processed. Buy your breads and pastries from your local bakeries. They tend to use local grains, and are minimally processed. Make your legumes at home. The flavor is incredible. Lentils, quinoa, brown rice, and beans are so simple to make at home, they make massive batches that are way cheaper than store bought, and they are much more nutritious for you. Recipes are abundant online.

Animal Proteins: Make this the smaller portion of your plate. Huh? Confusing right? Protein is good for us…well, not the kind that we eat! We should be getting a lot of our protein from our veggies! 4 oz of animal protein at each meal is plenty. But, try to pack veggies on that plate. Now, if you have athletes, that will require more protein based on level of activity. Buy wild caught, pasture raised, and grass fed. “As close to it’s natural state as possible”. Cows roam in pastures with chickens, pigs, and goats…if we are talking about “natural state”. No hormones, no antibiotics, and no closed in quarters. Did you know that “red meat” shouldn’t really be red…it’s injected with coloring in the store to make it appear fresh…barf.

Spices & Herbs: Pretty much the same as fruits and veggies. Organic or local. You can even make it a project with the kids and grow your own windowsill herbs. Dehydrating herbs to make your own spice blends is also a fun science experiment!

Processed Foods: Here’s my 411 on the fast food, packed foods, and overly processed, not real food, food: If you plan on eating any of this food, be fully educated on the damage they can cause your body. Food dyes are banned in every other country but ours (known to cause behavioral issues in kids and cancers), sugar is spiked in practically all processed foods (ingredient ending in -ose), and many other chemicals are known to cause cancer in kids. DO NOT make these foods part of your regular nutrition. No matter what the label says…it is a label that is be used as a point of sale!

Eating Whole Foods is all about going back to the basics. We get to choose what we feed our kids. Others may produce the food, come up with random diets, and market items (that aren’t real food) like crazy…but, in the end, we are the final decision for what our kids put into their bodies. We hold much more power than we think. We don’t just teach them HOW to eat, we are the first influence of WHAT they eat. They watch us and learn from what WE give them. And guess what, Kellog’s and General Mills won’t be assessing your groceries when you get home from the store. Nor do they pay for your groceries…or your medical bills down the road. We, the parents, are completely in charge of what is aloud inside our homes. We just have to take that power with confidence.

Introducing real foods to our kids from the very beginning, even before they are born, will set the entire family up for a long and healthy life together! Plus, it’s way more fun to cook together in a kitchen with whole foods rather than just opening a box or a bag.

Exercise/Mind/Nature

This section is loaded! Why would I put exercise, mind, and nature in one section together? Each is connected to each other. Movement of our body triggers neurons in our brain that activate hormones and cells throughout our entire body. You know how you feel so good long after a work out? That’s your brain still firing up all those neurons and cells. But, we don’t have to pump iron or run 12 miles to wake up our mind and body. Being in nature can have the same effect.

Studies have shown that walking in a park, or anywhere with nature, can reduce stress, calm anxiety, and increase energy. (Sounds pretty similar to the results of exercise, eh?) We need to begin influencing movement and nature to our kids when they are young. Put them in that baby sling, and go for a hike. My kids used to love that…my son would even fall asleep! If we help them create a healthy habit of getting outside every day and moving, they will carry that into adulthood. For our body, staying inside all day is like solitary confinement. We need to be in nature and moving:

A morning or evening walk

Swimming in the pool

Nighttime tag

Morning catch

Bike Rides

There are so many ideas to get out in nature, outside the stiff walls of our house. Even just 20 minutes can help your energy and build strength, give you that dose of vitamins, and pump up the good hormones in your body! Family activities outside help build strong bodies that will carry us through the many challenges we face every day.

Sleep

Sleep deprived, insomnia, and restless sleep is how many tend to describe their sleep habits. We tend to stay up later than we should, and wake up earlier than our bodies are ready for. And while sometimes it’s just not an option to go to bed early and wake up at a decent hour, most of us actually have no excuse! But, we use excuses! “It’s my me time.” “I have to get this done.””I’m a night owl.” “I’m an early morning person.” “It’s the only time we have to spend together.” Yes, even what we think are healthy excuses, really aren’t.

Humans have an internal clock that is in rhythm with the moon. Right when a baby is born it has a tendency to use a majority of the sleep hours at night, and smaller clumps during the day. (They are growing so quickly, it’s exhausting!) Even when our kids get a little older, we set bedtimes for them, and they tend to wake up right in sync with the moon going down, and the sun coming up. They wake up with so much energy, well, most days! Why can’t we adults get our acts together! Instead we wake up like zombies, and complain about how exhausted we are all day! Well, let me tell you, when you switch to a healthier home, the energy level rises through the roof! And sleep is a huge part of that. Not just the amount of sleep, but the quality as well. Tossing and turning is just as bad as going to bed late, and waking up too early. Your body needs that deep sleep in order to regenerate all those cells we crashed out throughout the day! Without deep sleep we are running on “duds” all day. No wonder we feel, and look like zombies. Regeneration of cells contributes to everything from organ function to our skin health. Low energy and dark circles don’t just appear because you’re “tired”. If our bodies don’t relax fully, and go into that deep sleep we all need, then your body is going to send you signals that there is a malfunction. If we can explain this to our kids at an early age, and set an example of good sleep habits, perhaps they won’t become the same zombie nation that my generation became, living on hormone replacements, and having to figure out how to “reverse aging”…because they will function and look their age! Plus, if you are an older generation that has some of the symptoms I’ve listed above, practicing healthy sleep habits will help reverse some of those symptoms. Now how can we help ourselves sleep better and teach our kids to adopt healthy sleep habits? A night time routine:

Stop eating 2 hours before bed (and no alcohol in this time frame either). You don’t want your body working on digestion, when it should be working on regeneration.

Drink only water before bed. But if you have a tendency to wake up to use the restroom, stop drinking 30 minutes before you get in bed.

Dim all the lights in the house. This signals your body that it is almost time to rest.

Take a bath. Use Epsom salts or essential oils to help your body detox before it regenerates.

Read a book. Relax the mind by having it focus only on words in front of you.

Remove all tech from your room. No TV, No phones, No kindles. No tech. EMF and blue lights disrupt your deep sleep cycles. If your children need white noise, make sure the machine is on the opposite side of the room from their bed.

Make sure your room is cool enough. Between 65-72 degrees. Your body gets extremely hot rebuilding itself. Help it not overheat by keeping the room cool. Your body will “wake up” if it gets too hot.

These practices may not solve all of your families sleep issues, especially if you have a new born in the home. But, instilling these habits with everyone in the home, and educating everyone about the consequences of poor sleep, will ensure that sleep becomes a major part in each persons health journey.

Tech & Outside Influencers

Technology has a massive impact on our lives. Some are fantastic, and truly assist our quality of life. Some are not so good, and remove many of the “human” aspects that we so desperately need in our lives. If you have kids in your home, you more than likely have multiple types of tech. No more are the days of the battle over the one TV in the living room! (Trust me, some days I wish we could go back to those days!)

I have broken down my strict Mom wall lately, and completely dug into the games my kids play on tech. I was quite surprised to find how cool they actually were. Building cities, designing different rooms, and even working with their friends to create teams. Now, some of these games are as stupid as I anticipated them to be, but hey, I played ghosts and goblins as a kid…I don’t think there was much point to that one. As cool as some of these games are, they still are not reality. So, limiting time on these is so important. All things are about balance. Playing on tech all day leads to a very poor socially developed person. (That goes for kids and adults.) Sitting quietly in a room filled with people is not being social. Beginning and being able to carry on a conversation with a person that you feel a connection to is being social. Limiting tech time, and influencing outside play time, whether it be with neighbors, siblings, us, or friends, our children (and us) need to learn basic social skills. And you can’t get that from playing a video game all day. The scenarios in a video game are robotic and predicted. Life outside your home is chaotic and spontaneous. “Play” is the best way to prepare your kids for the life ahead.

I have mentioned “influence” a few times here…for very good reason. All day long we are all bombarded with outside influencers. We carry the biggest influencer all day long, our phones! Remember being a kid? We had to deal with TV commercials, billboards, and of course our schools. Well, our kids are dealing with constant pushing and pulling of millions of influencers at any given moment. Social media, video games, tv shows, movies…everything has some sort of influence on us, no matter where we go! Kinda makes you think whether or not your own thoughts are really your own thoughts, or just the result of ALL the influence outside your home. This is why we need to firmly commit to our own families beliefs and practices. Becoming the best and biggest influence in our kids lives. No one will take our kids best interest to heart as well as their parents! Our home is where we turn to when we need someone to trust, and we need to be completely honest with our kids. The world is a beautiful hot mess. It’s there for us to explore and find that beauty that is out there. But, there are also many deceitful and damaging influences that can cause that life to be taken away, or even cut short. It is up to the parents to build a strong and healthy influence for our kids in order for them to make the best possible choices for themselves in the future. Discussing false claims, unhealthy food, how to use a position of power in a good way, and notice when others use their position for greed…these may seem like deep subjects you shouldn’t talk about with your kids, and perhaps since we don’t talk to our kids about these things, this is why they “follow” outside influencers.

I have definitely been asked quite a few times, what I do all day as a stay at home Mom. I learned to respond with quite an abrupt statement I stole from someone, “I raise tiny humans to become the new generation of leaders. What’s your job role?” Hahaha, it stuns people every time! But, it is so true. Parents have such a huge impact in our society, if we could only find the confidence in the role of being a Parent, our society would be so different.